Foreword

This is a collection of newer poems and songs I wrote during the last few weeks of 2024 and beginning of 2025. I was confused about myself, about what I felt, about everything. So I poured all of it into this art.

No filters. No pretending. Just me, trying to make sense of the mess inside.

Thank Fuck I’m Your Ex

What the fuck are you trying to do?
I’m confused about the shit you’re telling me
I think you are pathetic, more like
So stupid, thinking about just going away free

Now I’m your ex, where are your friends?
Such a cold hearted man with a stupid dream
Ménage à trois, not on my list
Fuck off, I knew you couldn’t resist

You tried to talk me in
Said how people are allowed to be free
Sometimes less is more
I thought you could be adored
I was so blindly wrong

But now I am your ex
I wish myself only the best

You were a storm in my head
A dream turned to a threat
With every word you said
I wished you burned dead

I mean, seriously how idiotic can you be
To let me walk away, free
You lost the best, on your crazy question
Hope it comes to you and hunts you
The action!

I’m happy that I’m your ex
Wasting my time on an empty mind
Well sometimes we need to burn ourselves
You left me, I cried
Now I thank that I’m your ex
It was a lot of stress

I saw your new boyfriend
I wished him the best
Thank you, that I am your ex
And no offense
But you are the biggest stress

Thank fuck I’m your ex
You were the void in my chest
You turned love to second best
But I survived, and you’re obsessed

I hope you choke on your regrets
I moved on, you still digress
I’m not your mess
Thank fuck I’m your ex

i wish we could stop play pretend

I’m trying the best I can
I’m trying to pull myself out of these chains I made
Around me
Around me

We all just play pretand
It makes me want to kill myself
Because I can’t cope with the world
I just feel so tangled in the web

Oh, I wish we could stop play pretand
I hope someday I’ll wake up and feel alive again
But why is the world so sad around me?
I’m even trying to be myself

I even love myself for who I am
But I still just wish I could kill myself
Please don’t feel bad for me
It’s my destiny
Even if I cry my tears

My tears fall to the ground
And the people who hurt me
I wish that they would drown
I wish I could turn this world around
I can’t, I don’t possess the power in my hands

Oh, someone or something, help me
I feel like I’m gonna burst
It may be too late
Maybe I’ll just disperse

Oh, I wish I could change
That we all just play pretand
And every single day
Oh, I wake up and say:
“Well, here we go again.”

I wish I could just let go
Of this fear of living on
Wish I could be gone

the border is paper thin

Foreword
Some days we’re just lost in our philosophical minds and thinking about the whole universe,
This was one of my days!

Should I end myself?
No it’s just too tragic
Ether way I wanna feel alive
I could escape and…

I stripped my skin and cried
Trying to revive myself
Every minute i feel like I should cry
The time I understood, everything around myself
Feel like I’ve lost my mind

Take my word back
Stupid shit, I wish to take back
Wasted all of my time
It makes me sad that I say that
I can’t help it
Needed peace
I got desperate
Obsessed with myself
Jumping out at the line
The universe
I had to breakway

I feel like a boy who just can’t get in
I dreamed about becoming the next big thing
I cried myself realizing it’s just play pretend…

I’m smiling when they see me
I just lost myself
Wish I could turn back
Turn time around and save myself
Calling on other side
On parallel spell
Who’s on the other end?

volando juntos

don’t try to fix anyone but yourself

When worlds collide and the emotions come down
Little bit of drama and all around
I’d rather feel nothing that being lost
Fear, grief and pain could just be on repeat

What’s wrong with me, you ask yourself
Don’t blame it all on your soul
Let some thing just change from alone
The day will come where you are very close to healing

It’s so strange to be here all the time
Doing things you may not want
Waking up in bed that needs to be made
Chores I don’t even feel like doing

Where is my healing
My epiphany
Rebirth and realizing that pain is just a glimpse of everything we live through

It’s so strange that I don’t know
Sometimes I don’t even believe in myself
Even though I feel like I can move mountains
Some days things just take way too much time and energy

Tipsy as I always feel
High as I seek to feel free
Inspiration flowing through my arteries
Lust for life in my bones

It’s like I’m floating along not even acknowledging the days
Not even discussing the rage of my emotional state
I feel like I just want to hibernate
Not that I don’t want to exist just don’t know the fuck I am doing

I can start to explore, try to decode
We should stop cause I’m too much to handle
I think I need to stop I think I’ll burst into tears
I’m screaming and blame it all on my bluff

I need a moment
I need a minute
Cry my eyes out
I give myself permission

i wish everything could just disperse

I wish I could be
Someone to describe the feeling this life bares
I try to cope and I think I misspoke
The fact about life and it’s sharing

Take time for all the obstacles
Life begins the journey in the womb
The only part of woman I’ll explore
Intrigued, burried six feet under

I wish everything could just disperse
Every single one mistake I did
I wish everything could just be reversed
Please don’t let me drown again

In my sorrow in my tears
I wish I could revisit
The realm were living in
I wish everything I knew could just disperse

I wish my path could dissolve
Become something more